When we’re starting out in our careers, we’re full of excitement and enthusiasm for what the future holds. We’ve made it to the threshold of adulthood, and we can’t wait to cross it.
Yet soon after, optimism quickly turns to disappointment as the realities of the modern workplace set in. Over weekly drinks with friends, we vent about interactions with colleagues, our workload, and our pay. Late on Sunday nights, we quietly ask ourselves, is this it?
As I’ve talked more to friends about this experience, I’ve noticed that we typically console each other with the same perspective. We tell each other, ‘Don’t worry, this is just the way it is when you start out. You’ll learn to deal with it and things will get better.’ The message, generously taken, seems to be “anyone new to the world of work is going to find much of it confusing and frustrating. But this is just a fact of life, so be prepared for disappointment and try to make peace with it.”
This message is wrong.
Much of what we take to be necessary isn’t so. When we say ‘this is just how things are’ we don’t state a fact but express an attitude; one of deep cynicism. Ironically, it is that very attitude which helps ensure that things stay the same. The belief that the world is fixed, and that other individuals share this belief, ensures flawed systems go unquestioned. To break this self-fulfilling prophecy, we should reject the idea that the world is ‘out there’ and we must fit into it. The so-called ‘real world’ was just made up by other human beings. History shows that we can unmake it, and remake it into something better.
The pandemic has given us a once-in-a-generation chance to do this, yet notwithstanding changes to working from home, the ‘new normal’ feels all too familiar. Like Neo in ‘The Matrix’, you may have a growing sense that something isn’t quite right. You feel it in your bones. This can’t be it.
This is no mistake. Contrary to what we are often told, the way we work today is in many ways deeply unreal, bearing little relation to anything natural or necessary. Here’s why.
Genuine Communication is Rare
The culture of work isn’t set up to facilitate authentic conversations where we feel heard and understood. Rather, the rules of the game dictate that we speak indirectly about our own feelings and needs, translating them into language that is less confronting. In such an environment, being direct and genuine is a near-revolutionary act.
This is particularly evident when we suffer an injustice at work. Perhaps we are lied to, or taken advantage of, or otherwise asked to do something unreasonable. In such situations, each of us is burdened with a painful choice. Do we ‘suck it up’ and allow the transgression to slide (thereby compromising our integrity), or do we ‘rock the boat’ by calling it out (risking being seen as ‘pushy’ or ‘not a team player’)? When we are confronted with two bad options, any decision we take is going to exact a toll. Over time, this breeds resentment and alienation. To correct this, we need to reflect on the unwritten rules of how we speak at work. We can and should do better.
Antisocial Behaviour goes Unsanctioned
Ever since humans started living together in communities, there have been social penalties for wrongdoing. If you deceived someone, or hurt them, or even were simply rude, you would face consequences. People would avoid you, or speak ill of you, and this would affect how you got along in the world. Yet today similar transgressions often go unpunished in the workplace, particularly where there is an imbalance of power between manager and employee, or between client and seller. This antisocial behaviour wouldn’t be tolerated elsewhere, but incentives to speak out are missing. Far from being the ‘real world’, work feels at times like an artificial construction, built to withstand the gravitational pull of social norms. If we want a sympathetic audience, we often have to leave work altogether to get it.
Our ‘Work Self’ is Not Our Real Self
In life, perception is often as important as reality, and this is particularly true for how we present ourselves at work. With bosses, we care to be seen as competent, compliant, and interested in what we do. With peers, we may be open about dissatisfaction and stress, but hide self-doubt (for fear of exposing weakness to the competition). When we play these roles, we compress or ignore important parts of ourselves. As a result, we feel estranged, as though we don’t recognise who we’ve become. We hunger for a less disconnected life.
We Have Lost Sight of the Purpose of Work
Work is valuable when it makes the world a better place. Yet many of us are unsure of the contribution our work makes to the world. A YouGov poll from 2015 highlighted that 37% of British workers believe that the world would be no worse off if their job didn’t exist. This is absurd! As a society and as individuals, we shouldn’t tolerate this. We need a broader conversation about the value of work, instead of confusing it with what is easily measured (people’s willingness to pay for a product or service). Impact is not profit.
Seeing that the way things are isn’t how they have to be is liberating. It opens us up to new possibilities, to rethinking what work is for and how we do it. Given time, we can transform work into something more purposeful, connected, and real.
Workers of the world unite!
